MSPs: 10 Questions You Can’t Ignore
Amy Katz (my business partner) and I have been talking quite a bit lately about life-work balance. Frankly, Nine Lives Media Inc. (MSPmentor’s parent) is consuming more and more of our time. And that means less time for us to unplug to focus on our respective families. I received a timely reality check at the recent HTG Peer Group meeting in Orlando, Fla. It involved an eye-opening 10 question survey. Here’s what happened.
First some background. HTG Peer Groups involves non-competing VARs and MSPs networking in groups of about 10 to 12 companies. Each peer group member bares his soul — and his balance sheet — to the other members. The end goals are personal, professional and business development for everyone at the table.
The Ultimate Test
Still, HTG Peer Group meetings involve more than business discussions. Members also focus heavily on life-work balance (notice, it’s not work-life balance). And in one daring — but important — move, peer group members actually have their spouses fill out a 10-question feedback form. Each question is on a 10 point scale (10=fantastic score, 1=pathetic score), for a possible total score of 100.
Basically, your spouse ranks you in terms of your ability to maintain a reasonable life-work balance. The 10 question survey includes:
- Works a reasonable number of hours on the business
- Schedules time for exercise, hobbies, not just work
- Makes time for me and family activities
- Never misses family activities for the business
- Brings an acceptable amount business work home (reworded from previous quarter)
- Helps with household responsibilities
- Schedules vacation that is not around business events
- Never checks phone during dinner and family activities
- Supports my work related activities equally
- Truly wants the best for me and our family
I’ve got some pretty big dreams. Don’t tell anyone but my stretch goal is to be the world’s most popular tech blogger. Like I said: Stretch goal. And frankly, I’m not even Nine Lives Media Inc.’s most popular author (that distinction belongs to The VAR Guy).
But perhaps my priorities are out of whack. If I asked my wife to fill out the survey, I think I’d score about a 10 out of a possible 100. Pathetically bad. But I guess admitting the problem is a first step toward recovery.
Right now I’m in Paris. Working hard at the Cisco Partner Velocity conference but also mulling my priorities for 2010. My wife is here with me. Time to take a hard look in the mirror.
I’m thankful HTG showed me the survey. I suspect it will be a real eye-opener for MSPmentor’s readers. It was for me.
More From HTG
When HTG shared the survey with me, they also sent along the following nuggets of information:
1. Every partner in HTG peer group 5 scored low on question #8. One partner scored better by handing his cell phone to his spouse when he arrived at home and waiting until it was returned later in the evening. It’s all about focus.
2. One partner had several heated debates with his spouse regarding the form last quarter. The debates evolved into healthy discussions and, fast forward to the present, home life has improved.
3. One partner was not only given his results, but was given his expectable range. By the way, the partner’s spouse is an engineer.
For the record, the authors of the spouse feedback form are: Sharon Sobel and Deborah Lindley.
There is nothing more humbling that being told what you did right and wrong by your spouse, and then having to share it with business colleagues who you respect. Sharon Sobel is my wife — so she not only rates me, but wrote the survey. My scores are trending upward, but not nearly where they should be.
Really enjoyed this article Joe. Thanks to HTG for promoting this type of evaluation, and thanks to Joe for sharing with the rest of us.
Dave: Thanks again for sharing the info. MSPmentor appreciates all the info you’ve offered our readers in recent months.
Andrew: I know I owe you an email. Looking forward to talking. I have to give HTG complete credit for the article. They opened their doors, allowed me in and then agreed to share the info above. I appreciate it.
-jp
JP, we discussed the importance of this over lunch. Even after returning home I find myself practicing the same ole things. Will I score 52 again this quarter? What I find in myself is that I find myself getting short with my family – this is when I know my work is getting in the way of my family. Part of fixing it is identifying you have an issue or challenge. Now the hard work.
Stuart Crawford
Bulletproof InfoTech
http://www.bulletproofIT.ca
Stuart: I’m afraid I won’t score a 52 — yet. But talk to me mid 2010. I’ll let you know if my quarterly results are rising, or tanking. Great to see you in Orlando.
I agree with Dave on this – there is nothing more humbling then your family member filling out a score sheet on Basically whats more important our Job or Our family. When my wife first saw this last quarter she had these evil eye brows that appeared above her soft eyes. Which reminds me it is also very important at which time of the month you show this to your spouce and have her fill it out!
I am actually embarrassed to share my first score which was a 40. but actually knowing that i was failing and seeing it writing helped me the next quarter bring it up to a 62. Now I know that score wont win me “Family guy of the year” but it is moving up, and mostly becuase i am now aware of my failures. I would reccomend you have your spouce rate you every quarter regardless if your in HTG or not. Its really good stuff to know.
Alex Rogers
CharTec
http://www.chartec.net
Joe
Our industry is guilty of really neglecting the important things in life for the urgent. Most have no life-work balance. We justify it, like most all entrepreneurs do, as necessary and essential if we are going to succeed and grow our businesses. That is true at some levels. But when it continues day after day, week after week, year after year – well it is just an excuse to justify what we are doing. Fact is it is leading to a lot of problems.
I presented in Orlando about growth and shared what I read somewhere on a blog that many of us are having “career menopause”. We have lost our fire, many have lost their families, and in reality most of us have no life. What a sad result for the most technologically savvy people in the world. We should have technology and our businesses fine tuned to serve us – not make us a slave to work. HTG will continue to drive our members toward the things that matter – not in words alone – but in how we live. We have to get life-work balance back before a whole industry ends up alone and discouraged for life. We can blame lots of things, make a ton of excuses, but bottom line it is absolutely a choice.
Time for all of us to choose what matters. Priority is not something to talk about, it is something to live. Thanks for helping make everyone aware. I have worked my score up to the mid 70’s with a little grace from my lovely bride. But it can be done if we set our minds and hearts to putting first things first and ask others to help hold us accountable. That is the magic of HTG. Few will manage to do it alone. Only when we have to get real and be transparent will we make the choices to put our family first and restore the design God has for us to live a balanced and healthy life.
Joe,
Thanks for joining HTG in Orlando. Great perspective on this topic that does not usually get discussed at industry events. How about you have your wife rate you now via the form and then again when you come back to visit HTG same time next year? By the way, I know that if I gave the form to my husband I would be worried about the results too!
Christy
I’m giving this to my wife to fill out. I am afraid of what the results will be. I must improve. Even just reading it make me want to make changes, and so it begins.
-Chris Chase
Arlin: Thanks again for allowing us to share HTG content with MSPmentor readers.
Christy: I am giving my wife the form next week.
Hey Chris: Let us know how it goes.
One of the partners in our HTG5 peer group scored 95. He is a newlywed. His peers where quick to point out that it is only downhill from here.
This has been a great exercise for both Deborah and me. I scored 43 in Q3 and I’m happy to say 70 in Q4. I’m trending up! My personal KPI, because it is LIFE/work balance.
Well, I scored a 56. Not great, but not as bad as I thought. 😐
Ouch yeah I scored a 51, so I have a lot of work to do in the area of separation of work and family. So my wife thinks I am really doing a crummy job at the work/life balance act. We did decide to have a holiday once a week “no phone Sunday” so I put down my crackberry and did have some minor shakes but I got through the day. I loving wife did give me the phone back at 6pm she saw I was being a good boy and let me play with my chew toy again. Into this weekend I am mentally prepared for the sunday event. Hope all is well with everyone who attended the #HTG and the #CWPS events in Orlando, Fl now we just have to execute… 😉
I did this and scored 82, then my better half did it for me and I scored 48. I think she’s got a better idea of my work/life balance than I have. (I would like to get my dog to do it for me but I know that the score will be really low as she’s been ignored for the past couple of months 😉 ). Will leave it for 3 months and then have another go to see if I’ve improved.
Darryn: I suspect 48 still has me beat… I’ll know later this week.