Oops. The VAR Guy didn’t post his daily blog this morning because he was editing content for that old, reliable media format called a magazine. The paper edition, he’s proud to say, enjoys a growing following.

The VAR Guy also loves TV and their daily soap operas. But today’s best soap opera will be Webcast today at 1:05 p.m. pacific by Hewlett-Packard. That’s when CEO Mark Hurd will lead a press conference to discuss the boardroom leak scandal.

But this is a one-way conversation, folks. According to Marketwatch, Hurd will take no questions at the event and HP isn’t allowing any video cameras or flash photography. The company will Webcast only the audio portion of the event. Reminds me of that old advertising line: “Never let them see you sweat.”

In a prepared statement announcing the Webcast, Hurd said: “This has nothing to do with the strategy or operations of HP.”

That’s a coded phrase to Wall Street, which reads: “Don’t sell our stock. Business is fine.” The VAR Guy can almost hear Kevin Bacon shouting to the masses: “Remain Calm! All is well!”