The VAR Guy is heading back to Las Vegas on May 21 for the big Interop show. He’ll be traveling with his corporate American Express card, dining with clients … and goofing off. Here’s a look at five potential items on his expense report.

5. Two-night Stay, Hooters Hotel ($400): Careful, folks. Don’t assume The VAR Guy is sexist. He’s actually blushing a bit about this hotel reservation. One of his company’s sales assistants — who happens to be female — booked The VAR Guy at Hooters Casino Hotel because the rate was 50 percent lower than alternative locations. And it sounds a little bit nicer than a room at The New Frontier, which has been voted “Hotel Most Deserving of Being Imploded.”

4. Mass Transit Tokens, $30: That’s a creative way to say The VAR Guy will be spending $30 riding the New York, New York Roller Coaster multiple times.

3. Two-block Limo Ride, $65: Hey, it could happen. Especially if you get caught at the longest stoplight in Las Vegas.

2. Pre-Paid Phone Card, $25: In case The VAR Guy loses his cell phone. And, on the back of the card, he’ll write the phone number for Josh Herman Bail Bonds. Hey, you never know.

1. Broadband Access, Three Days, $27: Actually, The VAR Guy plans to find free broadband. And the $27 will be allocated to in-room calorie consumption (translation: Two bags of Peanut M&M’s daily from the minibar).

With any luck, The VAR should have his expenses organized and submitted to his accounting department in time for Interop Las Vegas 2008.